Whoever runs this bus company is having a laugh at my expense...

Buses come in threes, yes?

Uh. No.

The Jelly-Man bus company sends them in fours.

Mr Not-Quite-Perfects-Best-Mate has appeared.

Let's start at the beginning, with J (aka Mr I-Thought-We-Were-Well-And-Truly-Over-Months-Ago). Now there is a long history with J and I. He's been kind of a back up for nearly three years. I'm his back-up.

Yes, that sounds like we were simply using each other, and that's a pretty good way to describe it. If we were at the same party, or even just hanging out at the pub with mates, we would end up getting together. I'm not proud of this.

J has always resisted my attempts to move this from a casual arrangement to more of a relationship, always claiming that he was happy with how things were. Until I, according to a mutual friend, 'completely broke his heart' by talking about S in front of him. So there was a pity snog. I'm even less proud of that. So the next day, when he sent a text fishing for clues about where 'we' were going, relationship-wise, I dug the knife deeper. Told him I wasn't looking for a relationship and that I was concentrating on other stuff in life. Last I heard, he was hanging onto this glimmer of hope that there may be an 'us' in the future. He's sorely mistaken.

A was Mr Perfect. Who just wants to be friends. But persists in touching my knee or arm if we're sat together talking, who still acts as flirtatiously towards me as before our date. I'm still pretty certain that if he changed his mind about the friends thing, I'd be straight there.

S is my dream come true. Sort of. Attentive, sweet, caring and yet there's a malicious side that lurks. S is gorgeous; toned and fit from his job. Independant, strong-willed, yet docile as a puppy when he wants to be. And incredibly ticklish.

There's no twisted history here. It's a classic boy-meets girl... ending in a kiss that made me feel like I was floating. My stomach somersaults every time I allow my mind to wander to that night. I cannot wait to go on holiday with him. Sun, sea, sand... and anything else beginning with S, in Spain.

R is the latest addition. S's closest friend since childhood - oh, what a tangled web we weave. I have spent hours on hours talking to R online, but if you asked me what we talk about, my reply would be to ask you to define infinity.

I won't say that I was instantly attracted to him when we met, because I had eyes only for S, but R and I just click. I cannot remember meeting someone and being able to talk for hours instantly, without any awkward silences. He knows about S and I. According to my friend H, that may be why he likes me; the competition.

I don't want to be trapped between S and R. I like them both, in completely different ways. S physically attracts me. It makes me smile when he texts me, to be called sweetie and hun and sexy bum :) I don't care that he wants to play it cool until we get on holiday, because I can see what he's thinking: there's no point in messing this up before we even leave the country.

I have denied fancying R. Constantly denied it, to myself and to my friends. But that doesn't change that fact that I can't wipe the grin off my face if he texts me. We have a lot in common. A similar sense of humour. I could say that about me and S. But R is special. Apparently we spent the first night we physically met talking constantly, trapped in our own little world, while S and our other friends looked on. I got suitably berated later for my 'APPALLING' behaviour. My only defence is that S completely blanked me for the first half hour; wouldn't even look in my direction. I think I'm forgiven a little harmless flirting. Or at least it was harmless then. The monster has grown...

You can't lose hours of your life talking to someone that you don't like. We have our own little in-jokes already. We have days out planned, just the two of us (the first of which just got cancelled due to a premature end to this heatwave). I started talking to him because he's also coming on holiday with us. I wanted S, so I befriended his friends.

And then fell for one of them...