Not a black dreamer.

I could kill. I could also hug.

Homicidal tendencies are due to a big error with our electricity bill, making us liable for nearly £200 worth of power. I wish "I'll cut off the direct debit" held as much weight as their "we'll cut off the power" threat.

In other news, my two days in trauma theatres next week are confirmed. EEEEEEEE!!!!! Now the major problem will be keeping it a secret! If any other second years find out that theatre exposure is possible, my lovely reward for surviving the term will be ruined.

Other factors that threaten to ruin the end of term are impending bankaccountemptinessdoom, all of my friends attending a christmas dinner I am not invited to, and attempting to batter my head of year with a small child. Or other weapon of choice.

An assessed clerking was handed in several weeks ago. It was returned yesterday. I got a score of around 50%. Needless to say, I am not ecstatic about this. I'm boiling over with fury at an inept system which punishes the honest and rewards the liars. Certain people (and I can name at least four, so far) did not clerk a single actual patient, yet handed in a full (fictional) clerking and receieved almost perfect marks. One of my friends was marked down for saying he examined the olfactory nerve in his cranial nerve exam. The markers don't believe people could have the ingenuity to bring an orange to ward teaching for this purpose. I was honest about the fact that I didn't examine certain pulses (didn't want to undress patient), reflexes (patient refused) and vibration & pain sensations (there are no tuning forks on the ID ward, nor Neurotips - also, I find it unnecessary to subject the patient to pain, however mild, for a formative assessment). It was also commented on that I did not perform fundoscopy. We've never been taught fundoscopy, and I wouldn't have a clue which side of an opthalmoscope I or the patient should be on. The patient may have learnt plenty about my retinas, but I didn't do it.

This is war. My tutor today told me to "stop trying to fight the system, because you will end up fighting yourself". Surely if it's me vs me, that's a win-win situtation? I know what he means, and I know that the knobs who lie now will lose out later, but the fact remains that... that... yeh, it's not fair. I should get over it.