Want to blog about the awesome event I was involved in tonight, but it would kinda give away who I am and where I am. Still potentially outing myself, as several people have heard the following rant recently. I hope they're internet illiterate...

I recently attended a conference about getting into a particular specialty that I adore - Orthopaedics. I spent a small fortune to go - transport from uni to London is not cheap at short notice, and neither is accommodation there. I gave up my weekend, which I desperately needed to catch up on lectures, to be sleep deprived for this week, in which I have to hand in an extended clerking and sit a formative exam.

There are two other girls in my year who are interested in surgery. They are both academically better than me; or at least, they study more and therefore gain better results in exams. I have no doubts that I will get grilled by at least one of them, if they were to find out about this conference.

Is it fair that I have no intention of either telling them I went, nor giving them any information I gained from it?

I found the course, I gave up time and money to attend, and I feel that I should reap the benefits. If they want the benefits, they can damn well do their own research.

The most recent statistics I have seen for training posts for last year state that there was 1 place for every 54 applicants in Ortho & Trauma. Call that 2% success. I do not go to the best medical school in the country. I am perfectly aware that our record at passing postgraduate exams is poor.

As an aside; I am aware that all medical schools are GMC regulated, and therefore 'equal', but with brutal honesty - there is no equality. There is no way I gaining the same scientific knowledge base as someone who attends Oxbridge. I am not being taught by the Profs who wrote the books (I believe one of our consultants edits a very famous textbook, which I shall not name, however he doesn't teach us). Whilst I cannot attend another medical school to make an accurate comparison, I somehow feel let down. My medical school offers such a poor range of intercalated degrees that I am trying to move elsewhere to do mine - if I could stay at my intended uni and not return to my current one, I would. Ideally, I want to be in London. With HEMS. With a National Centre of Excellence for Adult Trauma (and soon Paeds, too, under the same roof). With the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital.

Back to my point - my medical school doesn't give me the greatest starting point of a career, and therefore it is up to me to do the work. I don't see why I should share the information I have gained with those who I am effectively competing with to get the hell out of here.

They are clearly doing the same. I asked, mildly inquisitively, if either was applying for our uni's summer studentships. I got a vague "maybe, not sure" from both of them. I am 80% sure both are applying.

One of my friends, in another year, is "getting through Medicine, and bringing as many people with me as possible". I love this. We're all in it together. Do I have a problem with helping the guy who wants to be a BASICS doc? The girl who wants to run A&E? The wannabe GP's? Not at all.

Just the future surgery girls.

Conclusion later....