Swweeeet!

Why does sweet chilli sauce contain half a billion ingredients, the majority of which I don't own?!

Ok. Substitute white vinegar for white wine. It's the same thing, surely?

No fish sauce. WTF?

No lemon juice. Don't think orange juice is a great substitute.

Chilli sauce is colour of blood and bubbling ominously. Flatmate thinks I'm a food witch.

[/successful cooking]