Today, one of my friends had surgery to repair an injury caused by "punching a bear, like Chuck Norris". Orrr... falling up stairs. Lol.
Either way, he's now (hopefully) post-op, with a couple of K-wires.
And I totally get why surgeons don't operate on family and friends. I'm nervous enough sitting at home waiting for news. I can't imagine how terrifying it would be to be in theatre, observing, never mind being actually responsible for the outcome.
Still partially want to have been there - not seen a metacarpal ORIF yet!!
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Stormclouds and fairy wings.
Just came up with an awesome audit proposal over lunch. Future A&E doc is in on it. Plus the flat cat. I think my secret is safe with the interweb. *whistles innocently*
Meeting with the tutor in two weeks, so we shall see if he think it's feasible. I probably have to re-earn the right to audit, though. My week off put me at least three weeks behind. A month later, that's shrunk to two weeks. By Christmas, it should be ok. Maybe.
The big dark cloud has swung back over my head and I just cannot shake it off. Not properly. For a few blissful minutes, I can push it away with a glass of wine. For an hour, with a furiously competitive badminton game (impressive, on my shitty lungs). But it always comes back, with a vengeance.
Now it is stealing from me. Taking words from my mouth. More and more times, I discover that the word I want isn't there. It's on the tip of my tongue, blocked by something invisible. I write instead, my handwriting spiralling across pages. But letters are missing, misplaced, miswritten. P's become b's. S's get inverted. My hand shakes with it's own frustration.
But I am hanging on to everything else. I know I passed the formative. Five hours of painstaking copying from scribbled clerkings produced an extended clerking that will pass - with a few red scribbles criticising my use of abbreviations, no doubt. My videoed patient interview today was pretty good. Not amazing, but better than alright. I got all the symptoms and concerns out in my time limit, and showed some degree of competency in communication skills.
So I know I can do this clinical stuff. I damn well know I want the end product. I just can't hack the mind-drain in between.
Meeting with the tutor in two weeks, so we shall see if he think it's feasible. I probably have to re-earn the right to audit, though. My week off put me at least three weeks behind. A month later, that's shrunk to two weeks. By Christmas, it should be ok. Maybe.
The big dark cloud has swung back over my head and I just cannot shake it off. Not properly. For a few blissful minutes, I can push it away with a glass of wine. For an hour, with a furiously competitive badminton game (impressive, on my shitty lungs). But it always comes back, with a vengeance.
Now it is stealing from me. Taking words from my mouth. More and more times, I discover that the word I want isn't there. It's on the tip of my tongue, blocked by something invisible. I write instead, my handwriting spiralling across pages. But letters are missing, misplaced, miswritten. P's become b's. S's get inverted. My hand shakes with it's own frustration.
But I am hanging on to everything else. I know I passed the formative. Five hours of painstaking copying from scribbled clerkings produced an extended clerking that will pass - with a few red scribbles criticising my use of abbreviations, no doubt. My videoed patient interview today was pretty good. Not amazing, but better than alright. I got all the symptoms and concerns out in my time limit, and showed some degree of competency in communication skills.
So I know I can do this clinical stuff. I damn well know I want the end product. I just can't hack the mind-drain in between.
Monday, 16 November 2009
Want to blog about the awesome event I was involved in tonight, but it would kinda give away who I am and where I am. Still potentially outing myself, as several people have heard the following rant recently. I hope they're internet illiterate...
I recently attended a conference about getting into a particular specialty that I adore - Orthopaedics. I spent a small fortune to go - transport from uni to London is not cheap at short notice, and neither is accommodation there. I gave up my weekend, which I desperately needed to catch up on lectures, to be sleep deprived for this week, in which I have to hand in an extended clerking and sit a formative exam.
There are two other girls in my year who are interested in surgery. They are both academically better than me; or at least, they study more and therefore gain better results in exams. I have no doubts that I will get grilled by at least one of them, if they were to find out about this conference.
Is it fair that I have no intention of either telling them I went, nor giving them any information I gained from it?
I found the course, I gave up time and money to attend, and I feel that I should reap the benefits. If they want the benefits, they can damn well do their own research.
The most recent statistics I have seen for training posts for last year state that there was 1 place for every 54 applicants in Ortho & Trauma. Call that 2% success. I do not go to the best medical school in the country. I am perfectly aware that our record at passing postgraduate exams is poor.
As an aside; I am aware that all medical schools are GMC regulated, and therefore 'equal', but with brutal honesty - there is no equality. There is no way I gaining the same scientific knowledge base as someone who attends Oxbridge. I am not being taught by the Profs who wrote the books (I believe one of our consultants edits a very famous textbook, which I shall not name, however he doesn't teach us). Whilst I cannot attend another medical school to make an accurate comparison, I somehow feel let down. My medical school offers such a poor range of intercalated degrees that I am trying to move elsewhere to do mine - if I could stay at my intended uni and not return to my current one, I would. Ideally, I want to be in London. With HEMS. With a National Centre of Excellence for Adult Trauma (and soon Paeds, too, under the same roof). With the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital.
Back to my point - my medical school doesn't give me the greatest starting point of a career, and therefore it is up to me to do the work. I don't see why I should share the information I have gained with those who I am effectively competing with to get the hell out of here.
They are clearly doing the same. I asked, mildly inquisitively, if either was applying for our uni's summer studentships. I got a vague "maybe, not sure" from both of them. I am 80% sure both are applying.
One of my friends, in another year, is "getting through Medicine, and bringing as many people with me as possible". I love this. We're all in it together. Do I have a problem with helping the guy who wants to be a BASICS doc? The girl who wants to run A&E? The wannabe GP's? Not at all.
Just the future surgery girls.
Conclusion later....
I recently attended a conference about getting into a particular specialty that I adore - Orthopaedics. I spent a small fortune to go - transport from uni to London is not cheap at short notice, and neither is accommodation there. I gave up my weekend, which I desperately needed to catch up on lectures, to be sleep deprived for this week, in which I have to hand in an extended clerking and sit a formative exam.
There are two other girls in my year who are interested in surgery. They are both academically better than me; or at least, they study more and therefore gain better results in exams. I have no doubts that I will get grilled by at least one of them, if they were to find out about this conference.
Is it fair that I have no intention of either telling them I went, nor giving them any information I gained from it?
I found the course, I gave up time and money to attend, and I feel that I should reap the benefits. If they want the benefits, they can damn well do their own research.
The most recent statistics I have seen for training posts for last year state that there was 1 place for every 54 applicants in Ortho & Trauma. Call that 2% success. I do not go to the best medical school in the country. I am perfectly aware that our record at passing postgraduate exams is poor.
As an aside; I am aware that all medical schools are GMC regulated, and therefore 'equal', but with brutal honesty - there is no equality. There is no way I gaining the same scientific knowledge base as someone who attends Oxbridge. I am not being taught by the Profs who wrote the books (I believe one of our consultants edits a very famous textbook, which I shall not name, however he doesn't teach us). Whilst I cannot attend another medical school to make an accurate comparison, I somehow feel let down. My medical school offers such a poor range of intercalated degrees that I am trying to move elsewhere to do mine - if I could stay at my intended uni and not return to my current one, I would. Ideally, I want to be in London. With HEMS. With a National Centre of Excellence for Adult Trauma (and soon Paeds, too, under the same roof). With the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital.
Back to my point - my medical school doesn't give me the greatest starting point of a career, and therefore it is up to me to do the work. I don't see why I should share the information I have gained with those who I am effectively competing with to get the hell out of here.
They are clearly doing the same. I asked, mildly inquisitively, if either was applying for our uni's summer studentships. I got a vague "maybe, not sure" from both of them. I am 80% sure both are applying.
One of my friends, in another year, is "getting through Medicine, and bringing as many people with me as possible". I love this. We're all in it together. Do I have a problem with helping the guy who wants to be a BASICS doc? The girl who wants to run A&E? The wannabe GP's? Not at all.
Just the future surgery girls.
Conclusion later....
Friday, 13 November 2009
Drug-induced.
On a train. From one end of the country to the other. On Friday 13th. Grr.
Awesome recent patient I wanna blog about [Hello, Dean of Medical Undergraduate Education. I am blogging about a fictional patient that most certainly is currently not an inpatient at your teaching hospital].
I am always totally blown away by patients. The little old lady that walked out on her husband after sixty years of marriage. The guy who was made redundant by the only company that would ever employ him. And most recently, the ex heroin addict who ranted for ten whole minutes about people who drink alcohol.
I say this with a beautiful, chilled cider in hand.
While I agree that alcohol hurts people, and that it is pretty dangerous, I have absolutely zero urges to become tee-total. I'm not sure how a heroin addict (I won't say ex-addict, since I think that betrays the current Methadone addiction) is competent to judge those who drink. Firstly, alcohol is a legal drug. Heroin is clearly not. I understand that there are those who believe that, were alcohol discovered today, it would be instantly classified as a Class A drug. However, there is also the side that believe alcohol is good for you - a glass of red wine a day prevents heart disease, for example. (I'm a firm believer in this, but since the idea of what you should drink daily keeps changing, I'll stick to varying my tipple).
Even Jesus drank alcohol! Everything is good for you in moderation, except heroin. This guy even tried to justify his addiction by claiming that he never injected. Does this mean I can do coke if I just lick it? No - because the overall effect is the same. You're still putting an incredibly harmful substance into your body for no reason.
Awesome recent patient I wanna blog about [Hello, Dean of Medical Undergraduate Education. I am blogging about a fictional patient that most certainly is currently not an inpatient at your teaching hospital].
I am always totally blown away by patients. The little old lady that walked out on her husband after sixty years of marriage. The guy who was made redundant by the only company that would ever employ him. And most recently, the ex heroin addict who ranted for ten whole minutes about people who drink alcohol.
I say this with a beautiful, chilled cider in hand.
While I agree that alcohol hurts people, and that it is pretty dangerous, I have absolutely zero urges to become tee-total. I'm not sure how a heroin addict (I won't say ex-addict, since I think that betrays the current Methadone addiction) is competent to judge those who drink. Firstly, alcohol is a legal drug. Heroin is clearly not. I understand that there are those who believe that, were alcohol discovered today, it would be instantly classified as a Class A drug. However, there is also the side that believe alcohol is good for you - a glass of red wine a day prevents heart disease, for example. (I'm a firm believer in this, but since the idea of what you should drink daily keeps changing, I'll stick to varying my tipple).
Even Jesus drank alcohol! Everything is good for you in moderation, except heroin. This guy even tried to justify his addiction by claiming that he never injected. Does this mean I can do coke if I just lick it? No - because the overall effect is the same. You're still putting an incredibly harmful substance into your body for no reason.
Sunday, 8 November 2009
Swweeeet!
Why does sweet chilli sauce contain half a billion ingredients, the majority of which I don't own?!
Ok. Substitute white vinegar for white wine. It's the same thing, surely?
No fish sauce. WTF?
No lemon juice. Don't think orange juice is a great substitute.
Chilli sauce is colour of blood and bubbling ominously. Flatmate thinks I'm a food witch.
[/successful cooking]
Ok. Substitute white vinegar for white wine. It's the same thing, surely?
No fish sauce. WTF?
No lemon juice. Don't think orange juice is a great substitute.
Chilli sauce is colour of blood and bubbling ominously. Flatmate thinks I'm a food witch.
[/successful cooking]
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