A little brother's gems of computer knowledge, as told to an idiot (uh, that'd be moi, then).

Explaining the link between RAM and processor speed:
Imagine, if you will, an IHOP you run. You have three counters (3GB RAM), but a single staff member (1.2GHz). See the problem? You could be using all three if it was REALLY fast, or if you had a dual core, but you don't. You have one middle aged women who rather likes reading Heat on her extended breaks.

Explaining DDR:
So you're at a club and you see DDR in the corner. You and a few friends wander over to play, and you start practically reforming the country on the dancefloor, as this is DDR3, with the updated graphics and latest music, but there's only room for one person to play. This is DDR 1GB.
In another club, there's DDR2 2GB. It's the previous release, and most of the music is from 2000, but there's room for two people to compete, so it's a lot more fun.

SolidState:
Enter Ricky: "Hey, I know you like your files, but it always takes a long time to find them, right? Why not get Solid State? It's a lot faster, and I bet you've heard geeks talking about it, so it must be good, right?"
Fuck Ricky and his ridiculous argument. You do not want solid state drives. They are faster but they're only good for around 100, 000 saves. Sounds a lot, but only adds up to 2 years use. Back up more, sista.

And then he recommended a netbook with a mouse nub. Ahem, xkcd.com/243